Warning: Violence, rape, some adult language.

(*A/N:This is an AU Voltron story, written in 1998, which has some elements of the Redeemed and Damned fanfic but does not necessarilly follow the story event line. This story occours about 15 years after the Redeemed fanfic. It is a universe at peace,and the original Voltron Force is retired (they have a new force roaming about the galaxies.) Lotor and Allura have been married for about ten years when the events start in this short fic.)

Part One

Queen Allura Elyse Lyons Lessat wearily sat down in the chair in back of her desk, exhausted. She had been driving herself lately and she knew why--it was approaching the third year since he disappeared-the date of their wedding anniversary. Dear god, it never seemed to get easier but harder each year without him-without Lotor.

She laid her head down on her desk, not bothering to clear the papers off first. She knew that soon she would weep as if it were all yesterday instead three years ago.Unwillingly, she remembered. It had been their tenth wedding anniversary and despite the trials and tribulations they had gone though, they had survived them. They were happy for finally, after years of trying, their baby girl, Cimereon(named for Lotor's dead sister) had been born only a year ealier. She remembered the entire kingdom and the rest of their confederation of planets had rejoiced.
Allura had notified all the former members of the Voltron Force. She remembered all their cards and well wished. Keith and Kate Akira had sent her flowers from their garden on Terra. It had been such a wonderful time.
She and Lotor decided to go back to Aden, despite the bittersweet memories of that place and celebrate their anniversary alone. It had been idyllic-a romantic time, a passionate time for both of them. She remembered laying in his arms content while he hummed a tune softly in her ear. She remembered the passion of being truly alone with him, instead of all the interuptions that seemed to plague them on Arus. It had been their last time of intimacy together.

They were on their way back to Arus when their escort ships were fired upon and destroyed. Although Lotor had tried to skillfully dodge their attackers, their ship was forced down on a nearby planet. Their attackers turned out to be Valdare'an pirates-the most feared and bloodthirsty group of cutthroats in the Denubian Galaxy. Lotor had been familar with them, for they had raided several planets in their confederation. A price had been placed on his head for his resistance. Allura remembered that he grimly handed her a blaster and a lasersword, kissed her and said,

"Allura,..stay here..if they come..use your weapons but save a charge in the blaster for yourself." Allura nodded.

She knew what happened to females caught by these pirates-they would be handed man to man until the woman was half out of her mind and then sold into slavery. Still, she feared for Lotor. She had the same feeling of premonition she had had so long ago on Aden when his father had came to seek her. Disaster was coming and she could not stop it.

Lotor had seen the look on her face and smiled, "Don't worry, It may be nothing...I can buy them off...give them some ships or something..I have sent a signal to the nearest fleet...everything will be all right..stay here though."

He suddenly gathered her up in his arms and kissed her fiercely, not wanting to let her go. He murmured, "I love you, Allura...I always will." And then they broke into the door. Lotor whirled to face them, always the warrior, and fought them, but there were too many. One of them hit Lotor squarely in the head and he was rendered unconscious. Allura had fought back with her weapons but again there were just too many pirates to fight and her weapons were wrested away from her. Two of the pirates held Allura back as she screamed Lotor's name.

When they dragged him out, she fell to her knees, the two pirates still holding her arms. They forced her down on the floor and she knew what was next. One the pirates, a large hulking fellow, held her down while he felt all over her body and kissed her. She willed herself to die, but she knew that she wouldn't. The pirate that held her had grinned laviciously as he ripped at her dress.

Suddenly, he was jerked up by the leader who said something she didn't understand at first. "You idiot! You know our orders! We're not to play with this one, but return her safe to Arus! Stupid fool! Ain't thinkin' with your head, that's for damn sure!"

The hulking pirate scowled at his attacker and said, "Ain't like she's a virgin-'sides she's the prettiest one we've come across lately." He looked at her again, licking his lips.

Allura shivered. ~please don't let them...oh god, Lotor!~

The leader's eyes flashed and he said, "I'm gettin' tired of your crap, Duras." Without another word, the leader took a lasersword and impaled it into the pirate's chest. He fell dead on the floor.
Al'aan the leader then jerked Allura up and looked her up and down and thought that Duras was right. She was a nice one, but they had been paid handsomely by their sponsor to do this job and somehow he would know if it if she were harmed in any way. Still, what would a kiss harm?
Allura saw the leader smile and without further ado, he pulled him against him and kissed her, running his hands down her waist and her hips. With a groan, he broke the kiss and said hoarsely, "You are fortunate that we have been ordered not to harm you, pretty.Otherwise, I'd have you on the floor right now."

Allura mind whirled. She didn't care what they did to her. Where was Lotor?

She asked quietly, "Where's my husband?"

The leader grinned and chucked her chin. "No need to worry about that, pretty." She felt a hyposhot and within seconds she was out. The next thing she knew she was back on Arus, in their suite with Coran, Dr. Gorma and Nanny all around.

Part Two of One

And so a year passed, then two. She sent fleets to look for him. Hired hunters to find him. She exhausted every lead however slim to find out if he were alive or dead, but there was nothing-nothing. It was as if he never existed. When Cimmie had turned three, Coran had urged her to declare Lotor dead. Not because he was callous, but because he knew that the uncertainty was hurting Allura. She knew he was right, but when she finally declared a day of mourning for him, her soul had died within her. They held a memorial in his honor, but she did not hold a funeral. It would have been too final. She did not want to see her friends from the former Voltron Force for they were scattered and she did not want them to come all the way out to Arus. It was ironic that Arus and the confederation of planets that Lotor had created from the empire of his father's had prospered and became rich and she-she had become a pauper. No love was in her account. She was bankrupt..She didn't know how she would have got through it except for the love of their little Cimmie.Immediately, after Allura declared Lotor's death was official, the marriage proposals came in. She received gifts and proposals from the furthest galaxies from various kings and princes who wished to gain the wealth and status of their confederation. Allura would not entertain any of them much to their disappointment.

Three months after declaring Lotor dead, Coran had collapsed with a massive stroke, which killed him. The entire confederation had gone into mourning again, for Coran was beloved by all as a great statesman and leader. Everyone turned out for his funeral, including the former members of the Voltron Force and their families. She thought that they had all changed a little. Keith sent his condolences but could not attend. She knew that Kate, his wife had died seven months earlier and he had a son to take care of. She understood his problem.

After the funeral. Coran's widow, R'issa and his teenage daughter,Beth did not wish to stay in the Castle of Lions although Allura had said they could stay there the rest of their lives. The memories of the happy life with father and husband were too painful. They went to live on the continent of Altair, where Allura had provided a generous stipend for them. After Coran's death, Allura felt truly alone for the first time since her parent's death. At the age of thirty-four, she had to start all over again.

Another day...busy with things, always working, always keeping herself busy. Her leisure time was spent playing with little Cimmie and enjoying her antics. Her little toddler looked like both she and Lotor and she had her father's smirk and his micheveousness. Sometimes it hurt to look at her, but at least she still had a part of him to love.

Sometimes-well, all the time, really...at night she would lay in their bed and miss him. HIs arms around her, his stirring kisses, his words, the way his eyes looked when he loved her. She missed him, his strengths, his weaknesses, everything about him. She was still young, and she missed the passion of their joinings. She missed his love. And now, there was nothing..nothing. There would never be another.

If she had known all those years ago when she had first encountered him in his cruiser on Arus what would eventually happen, would she had still gone through everything she had with him? Yes. Yes. Yes. She would have. She cried in frustration, knowing that he would never come back. Never see his face again in laughter, in pain, in desire. She was still young, but god, she felt so old.

Another year. She was thirty five now, her beauty had increased with her maturity. She was still getting marriage proposals and she still refused them - until spring came-and with it Jarius S'aaul Tianus.
He came with an invasion fleet ready to obliterate Arus with advanced weaponry they had never seen before. He demanded a audience with Allura under threat of Arus' annihilation. She could do nothing but let him in. He strode through the throne room as if he owned it. Allura was struck by his resemblance to her dead husband, but she didn't like him. His arrogance annoyed her.

He walked to where she was sitting on her throne and smirked. "Queen Allura, I am glad you chosen to recieve me." He bowed and kissed her hand.

Allura recoiled at his touch. She said coldly, "It is not as if I had a choice, Commander S'aaul.State your business."

His eyes flickered over her and he said, "You would do well to be civil to me, Your Majesty..I have a propostion for you."

Allura did not want to listen to anything this man had to say. He reminded her of Zarkon, cruel and grasping. Allura said, "I doubt that I would be interested."

Suddenly, he grabbed her arm roughly, jerking her out of her chair. She gasped, How dare he? She yelled, "Let me go! I will call my guards!"

He backhanded her. She reeled and fell to the floor. Her face felt like it was on fire! Jarius was upon her, holding her down on the floor. His familar yet not familar face was above hers. He whispered hoarsely. "If you call your guards, Allura, I will turn this planet into dust! You will listen to me!"

He pulled her hair hard, jerking her head back. He kissed her brutally, bruising her mouth. He pulled away, a smile upon his face. Allura thought that he looked like the devil himself. He took his hand and caressed where he had hit her. She winced.

Jarius looked down at her and said calmly, "You will marry me, Allura, and I will be placed as a ruler of Arus and your confederation."

Allura's eyes flashed hatred. She spat, "You think I will just give over everything to you, you monster? No! I will not!"

Jarius' eyes narrowed. He did not like to be thwarted. He backhanded her again, making her scream. He quickly clapped a hand over her mouth and hissed, "You will learn obedience to me, Allura, and you will give everything to me,including yourself!"

Allura bit his hand, making him yell. His palm started to bleed. He jerked her up by her hair and hit her with his fist. The rings upon his fingers cut her cheek open. She felt the blood run warm and wet down her cheek. He smiled and it seemed like the more he hit her the more excited he became. It happened quickly, but she remembered it all, every detail. The ripping of her clothes, the bruises, the bites. He battered and abused her there on the floor of the throne room. He raped her there, taking pleasure in her pain. He had forced her answer from her - a yes- after he threatened her planet and all the people who were ever her friends with slaughter and torture. Afterwards, as he lay atop her battered and bruised body, he had somehow produced a ring and jammed it onto the ring finger of her left hand, saying that now he owned her. She remembered that he had kissed her bruised and torn lip and smiled. Later, he dressed and said that he would make arrangements for their wedding and to expect him back soon.

In a parody of tenderness, he caressed her bloody cheek and kissed her goodbye. He left her there where she passed out. Later she awoke in the medlab, where she had been treated. Nanny was there by her side, her face in sorrow. Allura hurt both inside and out. She just wanted to die. Nanny like the mother she was, came to her and put her arms around her and let her cry.

To Allura's horror,several weeks later she found out she was pregnant with the child of a monster.Then at her lowest point,Keith Akira came to Arus.

[Chapter 2]