Disclaimer: Allura, Lotor and the rest of the VF and everyone else belong to World Events Productions. Adult situations and general silliness abound.
Two
It was yet another sunny day on Arus – geez, doesn’t it ever rain on that planet? I mean how can a planet be so GREEN, eh?
Ahem. As I was saying, it was yet another sunny day on Arus, the sky was blue, the grass was green and everyone was pretty happy.
All except for the four members of the Voltron Force who straggled in behind Keith towards the Castle of Lions. It was only 7:00 am in the morning but the VF had been up since the crack of dawn when Commander Keith dictated that it was time for their daily Lion practice. The only person on the entire team who was a morning person was Keith, and like the proverbial annoying morning person, he needed no coffee, cigarettes nor any other stimulants to jump start his motor in the morning. As a result he was always chipper and raring to go when it came to practice and would put his ‘team’ through their paces until all of them – including the usually fair minded Princess of Arus, wanted to cheerfully strangle him.
This morning was no exception.
“C’mon team! That’s a way team! Great save, Lance! Princess you need to pull up a little more. Hunk, Pidge, great going guys! Princess, you need a little work on those landings..”
Keith was always on the princess about something, which annoyed her. She didn’t faint anymore – okay maybe only when the g-forces from a death defying plummet got the best of her – and she was a really good pilot – at least all the others said so. But Keith always found fault with her, which majorly sucked. It really didn’t always help Allura’s mood being griped at by Keith only to come in for breakfast and be griped at by Nanny.
“Preencess, when are you going to settle down, get married to a prince? You’re not getting any younger! Sit up straight! Eat! You’re skin and bone! Go wear that pink dress that looks so dahling on you! Young princesses dun’t need to go gallivanting around in a lion! Dat’s why that nasty Lotor person is always after you!”
Bleah, it almost made her WANT to marry Lotor just to get away from that!
But Allura was essentially an optimistic princess who always looked at the positive and never the negative and she didn’t want to cause trouble even if Keith had a major stick up his – well, where the sun don’t shine!
Well, back to our story here – our intrepid team was making their way back to the castle and they were staggering behind Keith, who was whistling a tune from ‘Phantom of the Opera’ when near the woods, they heard a cry. But it wasn’t just any cry but a baby’s cry.
They all stopped and looked in that direction where the cry came from and went to investigate. Keith had his service pistol out in case it was yet another insidious Doom trap. As they went a little ways into the dark forest, they saw a wicker basket. Allura knew exactly what it was, having read thousands upon thousands of fairy tales. Lance, Hunk and Pidge knew what it was too since they had seen their share of Looney Tunes cartoons to know that wicker baskets meant babies.
“Watch out, team, this could be a trap..” Keith warned.
Nobody heard him, least of all Allura who had done what most women did when they saw a cute baby.
“Ohhhhhh!! Loook!!” She squealed, kneeling over the basket. The baby in question – Lotor, stopped crying and looked curiously at the golden haired princess. Suddenly he gurgled and smiled, raising his hands out of the blanket – a signal that he wanted to be held.
“So cute!!!” Allura lifted up the obviously Drule baby in her arms and Lotor, knowing he had a good thing, cuddled up to her, cooing and trying to reach for the loose tendrils of her hair.
“Princess! Put that kid down!” Keith examined, waving his pistol.
“Put that thing away, Keith!” Lance glared at his commander. “You’ll hurt somebody with that! It’s just a baby that someone abandoned.”
“He’s kinda cute!” Pidge said with a grin. “Definitely a boy..”
“Yeah!” Hunk started making goofy faces at the tiny Lotor. He cooed and giggled. Allura laughed, charmed by him already.
Keith was still wary however, so Allura brought Lotor over to him. “See, Keith, he’s just a baby! Hold him!” She practically put the baby in Keith’s arms and for a moment Keith and Lotor locked eyes with each other and –
“WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
“OW! Why you little - !” Keith exclaimed as he rubbed his nose! Lotor had quite effectively bopped him one.
“Keith!” Allura scolded as she took the baby away from him. “How dare you scare the baby!”
Pidge, who had been examining the basket as to some clues – yes he watched Scooby Doo as a youngster – found a note which he read out loud.
“Please take care of my baby.”
“Well that’s informative.” Lance smirked.
“Hey are we gonna get some grub or what?” Hunk asked as his stomach made it’s presence known. “Bet that kid’s hungry.”
“Yes, we better go.” Allura nodded and without another word headed for the castle with a contented Lotor against her shoulder. Hunk obligingly took up the basket and the rest of the team followed her, all except for Keith.
“Dammit! Wait! Wait for your leader!” He jogged up to the others and passed them so intent was he to catch up with them.
Okay, cue into breakfast – everyone’s been oohing and ahhing about the baby, the guys are eating, Keith is sulking and Allura is casting adoring glances at the baby while she feeds him some puree that Nanny had cooked up. Lotor is pretty happy at the moment because he’s got good food, a clean nappie and a pretty lady with golden hair attending to his needs. Actually this isn’t much different than how he lived when he was grown up, except for the nappie part – Zarkon was actually the one ordering those ‘Depends’ underpants by the gross – but that’s another story entirely.
As I said, everyone is pretty much happy except for Keith, who is sulking. They didn’t have their obligatory team meeting after their practice which certainly wasn’t good – not good at all. Who knew when Lotor would attack again? Having nothing better to do, Keith went scrounging into the basket, where he found something that was mixed in with the blanket that had covered the baby. He fished it out, shook it out and saw – Lotor’s uniform top!
“AHA! Keith exclaimed.
Nobody heard him so he cleared his throat.
“AHA!”
The second time around it did catch everyone’s attention but that was only because he had jumped on the table and did so, mashing one of his white go-go boots into the eggs and the other into the flapjacks. As Hunk was in mid-strike to spear the flapjacks, his two tined fork that he bought at a travelling Renaissance Faire speared into Keith’s boot.
“EEEYOOOWWWW!!” Keith felt the pain and throwing up the uniform top into the air, hopped up and down on one foot. Hunk was rather annoyed as Keith still had his fork and HE had no flapjacks. The uniform top fell right on Allura’s head and baby Lotor giggled, thinking that the pretty lady was playing peek-a-boo with him.
“What’s this?” Allura plucked the uniform off her head as Nanny and Coran looked on in startlement – as if a Voltron pilot hopping up and down on the breakfast wasn’t surprising enough. However, the two elders had taken their requisite medication and were somewhat mellowed this morning, although Coran had slipped a Viagra in earlier with his hot tea. We don’t want to know WHY he took it, so we’ll just leave it at that.
Anywhosit, Keith is hopping up and down –
“Amuro Rey of Gundam gets more RESPECT than I do!!” Keith howled indignantly.
“He doesn’t wear white go-go boots tho..” Lance gave Keith a glance.
“Yeah but didja ever look at that Red Comet dude with the mask? DORRR - KY!” Pidge said.
“Er – Pidge, no offense but ah..” Lance was actually kind of a diplomat.
“Hey I wear these stupid fringe thingies on my uniform like a demented short Daniel Boone, plus they’re GREEN, and I wear glasses! I gotta pick on SOMEBODY!” Pidge stamped his foot.
Hunk finally got his fork when it fell off Keith’s boots and proceeded to inhale the flapjacks..
Now, back to Allura with the uniform top. She shook it out and saw that it indeed looked familiar. After all she had fantasized about pulling it off Lotor millions of –
Ooops..er – forget I said that. I wasn’t supposed to tell!
Anyway, she had seen Lotor wear it a thousand times or more. Seeing the uniform made her come to the logical conclusion which was –
“Why that – that – scoundrel!” Allura fumed. “Abandoning his own child! The poor mother! ~And why couldn’t it have been ME? That two-timing so-and-so!~ Allura inwardly fumed, slight jealous that Lotor fooled around with some other woman and produced this cute adorable baby.
Lotor gurgled and waved his little arms about, of course not being able to vocalize that he was the culprit in question.
“Well, since he’s abandoned this baby I’m keeping him!” Allura folded the uniform top and set it to the side for the present.
This galvanized Nanny, who was always on the look out for princess do’s and don’ts.
“You can’t keep that child, Preencess. What will people think?”
“I don’t care!” Allura stuck her chin up in that ‘I’m a princess’ way.
“He sure looks like Lotor though.” Lance chucked Lotor under the chin.
“I don’t care!” Allura said.
“You can’t! It’ll ruin your prospects for marrying!” Nanny exclaimed.
Coran quickly excused himself from the conversation at hand.
“I don’t care!” Allura lifted up Lotor out of what was her old high chair. Keith, by this time had come down from the table and looked over at Allura and Lotor as if they were contaminated.
“I still say it’s a Doom trick.” Keith said. “If that’s Lotor’s baby, then he’ll come after it.”
“I don’t care!” Allura smiled up at Lotor, who cooed happily. He liked the pretty lady who smelled so nice and talked so soft. Abruptly Keith took Lotor out of her arms.
“Hey!” Allura exclaimed. “Keith, don’t you dare hurt him!”
“I’m not going to hurt him, Princess. Just making sure he’s – “
“BRRRURRRP!”
“Aw geez!” Keith looked down at the very vivid spit up on his RED jumpsuit.
Lotor giggled.
“Uh!” Allura took Lotor away from Keith. “See what you did?”
“What I did?” Keith yelled. “He upchucked on my jumpsuit!”
The other VF members tried not to giggle. Nanny rushed over with a wet cloth to clean up Keith’s jumpsuit. For some reason she was taking suspiciously too long in doing so, lingering over parts which hadn’t even been besmirched by Drulean spit up.
Okay, some time passes – whatcha think this is, War and Peace? Any way, time passes, and everyone in the Castle gets used to baby Lotor who the princess named ‘Lotie’ much to Keith’s consternation. Why not Chuck or Charles or Keith or Kevin or something like that? But noooo, it had to be Lotie. Urgh!
Meanwhile back on Doom, Zarkon was actually missing Lotor because he didn’t have anyone fun to yell at besides Cossack who was as stupid as a brick. Finally one day he called Haggar in and demanded, “Where’s Lotor? Bring him here! Is he grown yet?”
“He’s on Arus!” Haggar volunteered.
“What? Why did you send him there, old hag?”
Haggar shrugged. “I figured the silly princess and her friends could take care of the brat until the potion wears off, which should be about - “ She whipped out her watch which told the correct time on Doom, Arus and in Paraquay.
“Now.”
Back on Arus, Allura woke up to the sound of Lotie crying. Stumbling up, half asleep, she went to tend to him, already used to the chore. She wouldn’t let anyone else tend to him – especially Nanny. After she cleaned him up and changed his diaper. Lotor raised his hands to be lifted up. Allura sighed, carried him to bed with her and went back to sleep. Little Lotie was already used to sleeping in Allura’s bed, so he got to where he always wanted to be with her, instead of his crib.
Hours pass and just about at the same time Haggar on Doom said, “Now.” Lotor transformed back from a baby to a full grown man – with a diaper. Now then about this time, a rap on Allura’s door signaled that it was time for the princess to wake up. Any moment now, Nanny would come bustling through the door. Allura stretched and yawned, not noticing that her well endowed chest hit something very solid. The object in question, Lotor’s manly chest, forwarded the sensation to his brain, which told him that this was indeed a woman, and so he did what a man would naturally do when encountering such delights. His hands reached up and gave them a squeeze!
Blink. Blink. Allura’s eyes flew open at the unfamiliar yet somewhat appealing feeling! She looked down and saw two hands – two BLUE hands right smack dab on the mountain range as if they belonged there. In her shock, she looked up numbly and there she saw a sleeping Lotor, a goofy smile on his face. He was thinking that he was dreaming again about his princess not realizing that he actually held the real thing!
Two things happened –
One – Allura screamed.
Two – Lotor opened his eyes, saw just WHERE he was at, WHO he was holding, and WHAT he was holding on to! He suffered a little by quickly drawing back his hand and clamping it over the princess’ mouth before she could induce any more damage. The other, happily enough was still on the mountain, not looking to be dislodged anytime soon.
Wow! Lotor thought. The ultimate fantasy! Allura in bed with ME!
Only thing was –
WHY IN THE HELL WAS HE IN A DIAPER!??
