subject: D'aavid Lotor -
Afterwards, they lay quietly at rest. Z'aale at her side, hand upon her waist, asleep. A slight smile was upon his face. Allura looked up at the ceiling in a daze. Surely this wasn't real. Surely it was just a nightmare. She would wake up in the Castle of Lions in her pink bedroom and soon she would eat breakfast with Keith, Lance, Hunk and Pidge. Nanny would be fussing over her and the guys cutting up as usual.
Her mother and father would be there smiling at their antics. And Coran and Aunt Lida would be there with her cousin Garrett, smiling, happy. There would be no war. No death. No painful memories. Arus would be beautiful and she...she would be free - and pure.
She felt Z'aale's grip on her waist loosen a bit, and his hand caressed her torso in his sleep. She felt a quickening of desire even as she felt repugnance at this act. No, she thought, this was not a dream or a nightmare, this was reality. Reality was Z'aale and she sharing a bed together. Sharing their bodies to be more exact.
She thought, ....it should have been....Lotor....if only!!....just an hour earlier and he and she could have.....and she would have had the memory of him to carry with her all her life, no matter what happened. Now, according to her 'husband', he was dead. Dead!
Instead of Lotor she had Z'aale. Z'aale who took her virginity without a struggle, without a fight. Who took her brief pain and twisted it into intense pleasure/pain. Z'aale and his words of passion, of love for her, which she believed, for she saw his eyes. He and Lotor shared the same eyes after all. He wrung out passion from her like one would wring water out from a sponge. She did not like to think about how she responded to him - begging...she, the daughter of King Alfor, begging her father's killer to take her. She blushed crimson all over just thinking about it. But, then again, he had begged her too, as if he needed to. She felt divided. Would she always feel this way? One part hating, the other part needing, craving.
She remembered her mother telling her about sex once when she was just past puberty - curious, as all her age were. She had said that in a loving marriage, sex between man and wife makes them as one - one heart and one mind. Well, Allura didn't feel that way. Right now, she wanted to die in shame and also live so that Z'aale would make her feel like that again. She got up, which wasn't easy, because Z'aale wouldn't let go easily. She disengaged his grip on her and finally eased off the bed, careful not to wake him. She felt around in the drawers and pulled out a nightgown, or rather, a negligee. She couldn't tell by the light, but it looked and felt like the negligee Lotor had brought to her that day at the pond when he dropped her clothes in the stream. She swallowed a lump in her throat.
Dear god, she was just getting to know him better! She knew there was kindness in him, hidden away. He would never be a perfect gentleman and he would always be a smart aleck, but deep inside...he was different from the one on the bed. Z'aale would never change. He would always be ruthless and calculating. He wanted her spirit, but only to suit his purposes - to bend, to twist to his will. He would be kind to her, but not to others, this she knew.
You'll never have my heart or my mind...'husband."
She snuck out the bedroom door, thankful it was well-maintained and quiet. She made her way down the hall to where the small salon was a million years ago, she danced with someone she had grown to love. She went to the holoimage player and punched up the appropriate disc and then ejected it. It was Glenn Miller program 6. She knew she would never get to play it again, but at least she would have that and the choker of his mother's to remember him by.
She went to the small comm beside the holoplayer and activated it. Allura decided to send a brief message to Coran. She knew that soon he would know from Z'aale, and she knew that he would be cruel in his message to Coran. She did not dare speak the message, so she simply typed it in and sent it via Alfor's Code. The comms in Castle Control would decipher it. A tear escaped her as she thought of what he would think when he knew.
She came back to the bedroom and hid the disc and the Ryell box containing the choker in a small hidden compartment in her bag, (actually it had belonged to Lotor's mother) Satisfied they were well-hidden, she looked to see if Z'aale was awake. To her relief/dissappointment, he was not. Allura decided that she needed a bath, so she went into the adjoining bath and drew the water. When it was ready, she discarded her nightgown and stepped in. The water was hot, nearly scalding, but it was the way she wanted it. She scrubbed herself with the scented soap, but she could still feel where he had kissed and touched her. She was right in her earlier prediction: she could never scrub his touch from her.
She looked down briefly and saw the marks of his passion standing out on her fair skin like an accusation. She sank down lower in the water and a thought crossed her mind. Why not drown herself here? Let him find her body floating in this pool. He could never have her if she were dead..
..but then, a fleeting thought, a touch of someone's mind came and said, .........child of Alfor, do not let Death claim you yet....I will help you and bring your love back to you....only a little while, child......
Then the thought vanished. Allura sighed. She knew she could not go with suicide. Something did hold her back. She just didn't know what.
She stepped out of the bath, her body rosy from the hot water, and prepared to dry herself off, when Z'aale came out of nowhere behind her, wrapping his arms around her body and kissed her on the back of her neck, startling her. He turned her to face him.
Z'aale said softly, "Come back to bed, S'auh'eya...." Even though he said it softly, she knew it was a command rather than a request. He carried her off, not caring she was wet and made passionate love to her again. Allura knew that her resistance would be futile, so she let herself go into the abyss with him, as her 'self' curled up into a tight little ball, unreachable and untouchable. Z'aale did not know he was in love with a shell of a woman.
Nor would he have cared if he had known.
Interlude Three
Z'aale: Dominion
He drifted in sleep, his arm around her, secure in the knowledge that she was really here with him, and not a dream or a lying witch out to trick him. He smiled faintly, remembering everything in detail. She was everything he had imagined and more. She was a valuable treasure, priceless beyond compare. He sighed and caressed her in his sleep, her warmth a comfort to him. How the world did this happen to him so late in life? This love for another?
He didn't know and he didn't care. All Z'aale knew was that he was in love with her....her face, luminious and full of light. Eyes that sparkled and reminded him of a summer sky. A mouth that was both sensuous and innocent. And her body.....well..perfection, he thought. Her voice, soft and low and her laugh, a melodious tune he wanted to hear again. Her whispers and her sighs of passion thrilled him, he, the possessor of many women of many races and galaxies. He had been pleased to find out that she had been still a virgin. Her brief gasp of pain pleased and excited him, for he knew he would be the first and only one for her....his Allura.
...Fool Alfor! I hope you see this from whatever hell you're rotting in! He thought perhaps Alfor had both blessed and cursed him with her, for she was his great love and obsession. He would start over with her - begin anew. He could not harm her now, after all those times he had foolishly tried to destroy her and her planet, it was a miracle that she was his.He had felt her leave him and frowned, missing her already. Of course, he knew she had get up sometime, but still.....he drifted some more and then, he heard water running in the baths. .....she is taking a bath.....he thought drowsily.
After awhile, he awoke more fully and heard the slosh of water as she stepped out. Suddenly, he wanted her, more than ever, as if it were the first time all over again. He walked over into the bath as her back was turned to him. She was reaching for a towel, when he slipped his hands around her still wet body and kissed the back of her neck. She jumped, startled, and he smiled. He turned her to face him and said, "Come back to bed, S'auh'eya....." He then scooped her up and carried her back in the bedroom, not bothering to dry her and placed her gently on the bed. Then he kissed her and they were lost again to the madness of the Bride's Wine.
Coran and Prince Bandor were in Castle Control,talking. Coran was glad to see Bandor, for he was so troubled over Allura, he needed to talk to someone besides R'issa about it all and Baile was busy with his duties. Bandor came to help with the plans for the defense of Arus from Zarkon.
Bandor had said Rommelle had insisted he come to help. Coran thought uneasily that perhaps Rommelle had intended for Bandor to be in the line of fire, but he didn't say anything to Bandor about it. Perhaps it was just his imagination. Besides,Coran really was glad to see him. There was something about him he liked - he wasn't at all like Avian, his father.
They talked about the shield - Pidge and Hunk were working like crazy, but it wasn't quite all in yet. It was a pretty complex task, but hopefully, it would be up soon. This drifted over to talk about Allura.
Bandor said worriedly, "I know that Rommelle has been worried sick over Allura's having to hide out with Prince Lotor. I am too. I mean, look what he did...." he trailed off.
Coran shook his head. "I don't think he would, Bandor. He seemed different when I spoke to him, I don't know how, but I know he will do everything to protect her and bring her home."
Bandor looked skeptical. "I don't know about the "home" part, Coran....but the main thing is that Zarkon doesn't get her."
Coran nodded, "Yes, that's what worries me. Ever since I received the comm from Keith, I have feared the worst. If that monster does find her,then Arus will be under his control...and you and I, Bandor, will be lunch for the robeasts - if we're lucky."
Bandor looked angry. "If it comes to that, Coran, fight! I know Allura would want you to!"
Coran said, wearily, "Oh, we will, Bandor, I just don't know if we will win...."
The comm beeped. An incoming non-aud message was coming through....from Aden!
Coran looked to the screen, hoping, praying...
..Incoming message.....Alfor's Code2.......from Aden Prime.....from Princess Allura to Albert Coran, Castle Control/Arus..................................disencoding..........deciphering.....go:..Coran.....Lotor dead.....tried to protect me......Z'aale Zarkon is here.....Do not surrender..........I love you all, I am sorry........ Allura...........end.
Coran buried his head in his hands, as Bandor read the message.
My child....my poor sweet girl! This will kill Nanny...it's killing me...oh why her, my Lord?
Coran couldn't control the deep dispair he felt just then.
Bandor exclaimed, "Son of a --!! Dammit, Coran....oh..." he whipped around and saw Coran shaking and weeping.
Bandor put his hand on Coran's shoulder and said, "Coran....."
Coran looked up and said, "My god, Bandor, I haven't felt this way since-since Lida died! Allura, oh god! Just what Alfor had feared!! I failed, Bandor! I failed!"
Bandor feared for Coran - he was white as a ghost! And he couldn't blame him! Allura in the arms of that monster! His face twisted in anger. Amazingly, at that moment, he looked much like Coran, though there was no one to see it.
Bandor tried to talk to Coran, "Coran, we can get her back! Break his claim on her.....destroy him once and for all. We must fight, Coran! She would want this! She said so! Coran, c'mon!"
Coran calmed down. He said, taking a deep breath, "You're right, Bandor. We must fight until we cannot anymore, and we need to get Allura back. We can't let her stay with Zarkon. Any man that would kill his own son..." Coran took another breath, "but we must think of a plan. I mean, he will expect us to fight. We need to catch him off guard somehow..."
Bandor said, "Now that he has Allura, he will think he has everything down cold. The Alliance..." he trailed off.
Coran said, "The Alliance will stay alive, Bandor. I know that there will be infighting once they know of Allura and that - " he couldn't bear to say his name in conjunction with Allura's.
"But I will personally recommend you as leader of the Alliance, Bandor."
Bandor looked shocked. "But Coran, I am not ruler of Pollux yet, my sister is by regent. She will expect to lead the Alliance!"
Coran shook his head and said, "Bandor, I hate to say this, but Rommelle is not fit to lead. She's quite beside herself over Allura's fate. Many people think because she looks like Allura, she is like Allura, but she is not and you know it. She is regent, Bandor, that is not the same as being Queen....you have the leadership ability of your mother..." a sadness came over him briefly. He continued. "And for your youth, you have the battle experience. No, Bandor, you, like Alfor, are destined to lead your people, and you must do what needs to be done. You have a heart like Alfor's and Allura's."
...and Leda's...
Bandor didn't know what to say. He never had anyone give him so much confidence before. When Avok and his father were alive, they always denigrated his abilities, marking him as weak simply because he didn't always use fighting to solve his problems. Many times he used diplomacy and if he had to, he would fight, and fight fiercely.
Bandor said,"I don't know what to say, Coran....thank you....and -- we'll get Allura back, I promise. I will do everything in my power to help you."
Coran smiled grimly and said, "I know you will, Bandor, for you have Alfor in you, I can tell.Hopefully, we will hear from Keith soon, perhaps between all of us we can think of something."
Coran swallowed hard. "They have to come back to Doom sometime." referring to Allura and Zarkon. Bandor nodded and said a brief prayer to himself, that somehow, someway a miracle would happen soon.
To BOOK SIX:Rise Into The Abyss