(This chapter is rated R for adult situitions!)
Allura and Coran emerged from the caves when he was sure the battle was over and all were gone. As they made their way up the stairs that led to the tCastle, Coran made sure that Allura was safely behind him. He was glad to be out of the secluded cave. Allura's closeness was too much sometimes, what with the two of them alone as they were. He took care of her, and she gradually recovered from her head injury. Coran rather missed watching her sleep, but he was glad that she was well now.
He worried about what they would come across up here, but they had to see for themselves. It had only been a few days since the invasion, but all was dead quiet. They reached the interior of the castle and Coran carefully opened the door, his blaster ready. He looked about. The castle was a shambles, but there was no one. He opened the door wider, and then he whispered to Allura, "Stay back, Allura."
She nodded. Coran stepped out and looked about. Still no one. No sound. It was as if they were the only two left on the planet. Coran, sensing that it was safe, led Allura out.
She whispered, "My God! Look at what they've done!"
The room was a shambles. Everything of value was taken and the room bore the marks of laser fire. What struck them both was the errie silence. No noise. There were no bodies either. It was strange. Coran knew that that everyone was taken as slaves or killed-their bodies burned. He knew the Dark Prince's tactics. He was just relieved that the prince did not get Allura.
He thought of Rommelle and hoped she got what she deserved. He knew it was not normal of him to think such a thing of someone he had been intimate with, but she had tried to kill Allura and that was something he could not forgive.
Allura wanted to go up to her room and see if there was anything to wear. Coran looked down at her, still wearing the nightgown she wore the night of the attack and agreed that she needed something else more decent.
Coran said, "I will have to go with you, Allura..to make sure that there are no stragglers around." Allura nodded and Coran escorted her upstairs.Her door was wide open, and like everything else, her room had been ramsacked. Most of her better clothes had been taken. Coran thought that the soilders probably took them to give to their mistresses. Allura did find a dress crumpled on the floor of her closet that had been forgotten. It was black. She had held it up and grimaced. It was the dress she wore when Father died. She didn't want to wear it, but she had nothing else. Coran left her to dress.
As Allura turned to dress she noticed a small box forgotten in the darkest corner of her closet. She picked it up and looked at it wonderingly. It was made of rosewood and it appeared old. She opened the box and gasped. A crystal pendant! She lifted it up and held it to the light-it glittered and shimered. To her amazement, a hazy image of a man appeared, alien but handsome. Who was he?
She smiled. She was glad the soldiers didn't find this! She looked at the back of it and saw her name inscribed upon it. There was also half of a seal of some sort upon it. This was hers, but it also looked like it fit to another piece. Who carried the other piece? Ah well.
Allura decided she would wear it. It was beautiful, and there was very little beauty on Arus now. She slipped it on, where it hung between her breasts. She was suprised that it felt so warm.
She closed her eyes for a moment and thought she heard someone say in her mind. ...where are you? ...please...I have looked for you everywhere....are you dead...where are you.. Then the voice faded. Allura thought that it was her imagination and got dressed.
Coran waited outside her door, very aware that if he were to come in, she would be wearing nothing. He could take her into his arms and.... No! He shook his head violently. He would not-even if it killed him. God, this was a torture. How did it happen? He had been a stable man, a decent man. Proper and always knew the civilized thing to do.
Then she grew up. She had to grow up into a beautiful woman who entered his dreams at night and tormented him. He should have married again after his wife died. Maybe then he wouldn't feel this way about her - his best friend's daughter. If she wasn't who she was and he wasn't who he was, would it be possible? He was so much older than she,old enough to be her father,but other matches were like that. It would not be the first time.
He shook his head again. It was impossible. He would remain her loyal Advisor, her friend, and he would be tortured by her in his dreams. Being alone with her now in a world seemingly dead didn't help.
Allura emerged from her room wearing the black mourning dress and sighed, "I never thought I would be wearing this again, Coran, I mean -Albert.."
He wanted to smile. She had called him Albert. He liked the sound of it on her lips but he didn't let on. He said gently, "I'm sorry, Allura."
She said, "Please, don't be, if it wern't for you, I would be dead."
Coran ruefully thought,no, no one would kill you, Allura.
Coran said, "Come with me, I need to see what damage has been done to the castle.I need you to go with me so I can protect you." Allura nodded and followed Coran down the stairs.
I hope you have gone, Rommelle. I hope - I am sorry -no good. I - can't. Oh, Mother, I - you...
It didn't show of course. His face was chiseled and handsome. His full lips could curve into a charming smile that disarmed one into thinking he was a friend or a lover. He hated himself and what he had become.
He got up unsteadily and went to his chambers. He opened his travel bag and took out a worn rosewood box. He held it for a moment and then he opened it. As he always did when he opened it, he smiled, becoming a child again. His mother's gift - her last one before she died. He frowned. He knew his father had murdered her - Hagar had told him so. All those years thinking she had left him. The bastard from hell had lied. Lotor fingered the delicate crystal and then flipped it over and read his name upon the back."D'aavid" - his real name, not the one he was known and feared by. He looked at part of what seemed to be a symbol of some kind upon it and wondered what it was. He remembered his mother saying that it would help him find his mate. Of course, for years, he had simply kept it as his reminder of her, but now he wondered. The jewel obviously fit with another piece-but who-who held the other piece of his heart? He searched and searched. He couldn't find her.Was it the woman within the jewel?
The Dark Prince hung his head and closed the box. What woman would want a murderer, a man with the blood of countless people on his hands. He was about to put the box away when on an impulse, he decided to place the necklace around his neck. He put it on and was suprised to find that the crystal was warm, not cold on his skin. It seemed to vibrate with energy and light. He smiled Perhaps this keepsake his mother left him would keep away the demons that continued to haunt him.
Lotor put the box away and laid on his bed, feeling tired, when suddenly, faintly he heard a voice in his mind D'aavid,,D'aavid...
He was instantly sober. He sat up straight up and thought, ..I must really be..
The voice came again-a female...D'aavid..D'aavid, where are you..D'aavid ? It wasn't his imagination! No one knew his name! He spoke and said, "Where are you?" The voice continued to whisper in his mind D'aavid, oh D'aavid-where?
Lotor got up, put on his uniform and grabbed his lasersword. He ran outside, looking around. No one. Of course, it was night and his ship was hidden in the woods near the castle. The Castle-was that where the voice was coming from?
..D'aavid.. the voice said faintly. The Dark Prince shook his head. He must be finally going mad! The voice was fading.
He shouted, "No! Don't go!"
..D'aavid..
Lotor looked in the distance at the crumbling Castle of Lions. She was there, whoever she was, she was there. He started to run.
Allura started to run, but it seemed as if she were in slow motion, running through molasses. He was coming closer, for she could feel his breath on her neck. He pulled her hair, and she screamed. Zarkon grinned and pulled her to him and kissed her. Then he turned into Keith Akira, who pulled back and laughed in her face.
She broke away and ran, and as she ran, Arus died, the ground turning to dust under her feet. The ground fell away and she fell, screaming and screaming, her body twisting. She called out "D'aavid!!" Suddenly, she was in his arms-the stranger that wasn't. The one who would save her as she would save him. Her nightmare was over. She smiled. He saved her.
(*A/N: Ok, in this following part, I give an unusual portrayal of Coran here as a tortured man who does love Allura but due to circumstances, fights the desires he has for her. Remember this Coran is younger than he was in the series(I don't know how old he really was) he's 39 in this story. I wanted him to be the antagonist in this fic!! (Alternative, think alternative!) He is a desperate and lonely man who feels he will do the right thing for Allura. I wanted to put some passion in this proper man..so that's the spin I put this part..tfl)
Coran slept outside of Allura's room on the divan. He was dreaming of her again. One of those dreams of madness. The ones that seemed so real to him. He could hear her voice saying, "Albert..I love you..do not leave me.." Her arms around him, entreating.
He smiled. He would not leave her nor she him. He was her protector and would always be so. She would never fall into the hands of a damned half-breed Drule.
He thought of the long-ago ceremony of bonding between the beautiful baby girl of Alfor's and that damned half-breed. He had advised Alfor against it, but he wouldn't listen to him-his best friend! Coran watched and witnessed that ceremony and he was glad when Zarkon stole his brat away from Arus. He hated Drules. They were evil. Poor Lida never had a chance. He would never let Allura fall into the hands of one. Not even a half-breed.
He tossed and turned. He was losing his image of her and he frowned. Then in his subconsciousness, he heard a noise from Allura's room. He slowly woke up and heard again- a whimper-as if she were having a nightmare. As he had done on occasion when she was small, he went in to check on her. He opened her door and peeked in. He saw that she was turning about in her sleep as if she were fighting something. He could see the moon shining down upon her and saw that she had kicked the bedding off in her sleep. He also noticed uncomfortably that she had twisted her nightgown in her sleep. He needed to help her. He came to the side of the bed and gathered her in his arms and rocked her as she continued to writh.
He could have sworn that she was whispering the name "David." but he was sure that it was just his imagination. He said gently, "Allura, it's all right..you're just having a dream..it's alright...I'm here...." He continued to hold her tight and rock her as he had done when she was just a small one-the daughter he never had. But then she quieted in his arms and she placed her hand upon his bare chest. To his shame, he felt a rush of desire for her. Coran closed his eyes in torment. She was not a little girl. She was a woman and he knew it. He could not pretend she wasn't.
He wanted this torment to end. He felt like he would break. He could not go on like this anymore, keeping his distance. They were alone now. They only had each other to rely on. No one would come to a dead planet owned by the Empirate. They had no credits, no ships, nothing. Nothing but each other. He had to take care of her. He swore to. He could not leave her, but he couldn't go on pretending anymore.
He continued to hold her, poised between heaven and hell. He looked at her face, luminous in the moonlight and he shook. He wanted her so-more than anything. Rommelle had been a cheap knockoff compared to her. He took his hand and touched her loose hair, gathering it in his hands, feeling its thick waves. It felt sensual in his fingers. Again, he felt like some fiend, but he could not stop himself.
Things had changed. They had to change with them. She was breathing peacefully, so he reluctantly laid her back on her bed and gazed at her. He looked at her nightgown twisted halfway up her hips and imagined more. Coran placed his head in his hands. God forgive him! He wanted her! He loved her! He looked at her and his eyes were tormented. He had to, he just had to kiss her. He did, pulling her to him and kissing her deeply, his hand in her hair and one around her waist. She made a slight noise and responded at first. But then she became more fully awake and started to push him away. Her eyes opened wide and with an uncommon strength pushed him away from her.
She yelled, "Coran! What are you doing?"
He started to say something like an apology and then he decided not to. It was now or never. He had to tell her. He had to talk to her. It was time. He said, "You were having a nightmare."
She said angrily, "You were kissing me, Albert."
He suddenly grabbed her wrists and said, "Yes, dammit I was!"
Allura's eyes widened. He had never spoke to her that way before.
He looked into her eyes and said, "Allura, I have to tell you or I will go mad - I love you."
She was puzzled. She loved him too. He was like a second father to her. He wasn't making sense.
He saw the puzzled look on her face and said, "You don't understand, do you?"
He started to caress her wrists with his thumbs and he said, "When you were a baby, I fell in love with you at first sight, because you were like the daughter I never had. You know I had lost my wife and my child.." She nodded mutely.
He continued quietly. "You grew into beauty, and you were michievious, of course it seemed like Rommelle always led you into trouble.." He frowned. "One day, I came looking for you. Your father wanted you for something, and I happened to be going outside. He asked me to look for you and of course i said I would. I went outside and called you. Nothing. I suspected that you were gathering flowers in the woods, so I went in. I wasn't there long when I heard someone singing." He smiled gently. "It was you singing a song your mother taught you.I went to where I heard your voice and I saw you. You were swimming. I-I turned away at first, but then you made a shriek-I guess you had slipped or hit something..I turned and I saw you come out."
Allura blushed with shame...oh god, I didn't know.
Coran's hands trembled and he clutched her wrists tightly. "I saw you and I couldn't turn away. You were beautiful, Allura, so--beautiful. A young beautiful woman.I hated myself for not turning away, but I couldn't.I left you there, but the image of you was burned into my mind."
Allura ducked her head, embarassed beyond words.
Coran took his hand and lifted her chin to face him. He said gently," You have nothing to be ashamed of.I was the one at fault." He contiued to caress her chin and said, "I tried to forget what I saw, Allura, I did. But you kept appearing in my dreams and my thoughts."
He sighed heavily, "It was easier when everyone was here-I could occupy my thoughts elsewhere and then when Rommelle came, it was easier still.she and I had an affair."
Allura's eyes widened. Coran and Rommelle?
Coran smiled sheepishly and said, "Yes..it was a mutual affair-we kept it secret. I admit it was something I would have never done under normal circumstances. Still, I could pretend she was you."
Coran hand moved to caress her hair gently. He said, "Now, it is just the two of us, Allura."
Allura stammered, "Coran..surely you don't mean this! I-I don't love you that way, and I never-"
Coran's eyes blazed and he said, "I do mean every word I say, Allura! I love you and I want to protect you."
Allura shifted slightly. "You are protecting me, Coran."
He brought his face closer and said softly, "Not the way I need to as a husband would."
Before she could stop him, he kissed her. She backed away, leaning against the pillows. She said, "No, please.." His face was close to her own. She could see his eyes-how they glowed.
Coran said, "Allura, you must understand.Arus is gone. You rule a planet of ghosts now. No one will come. I know Zarkon has probably intradicted the planet by now. We have only each other now..we must make the best of things."
Allura gasped, "But surely, we can-"
Coran's eyes blazed and his hands reached to grip her shoulders tightly. He ground out, "No we can't stay the way we are! I can't! I cannot be the proper diplomat anymore. Those days are gone! I am a man and you are a woman. I have sworn to your father that I would defend you and care for you with my life. I love you with all my heart Allura, but I cannot go on this way!!"
He kissed her again, long and hard. She tried to turn her head, but couldn't get away. She was terrified. Coran pulled away and said hoarsely, "I would be a good husband to you, Allura. I swear it." He leaned against her and his hands went down her waist. His eyes flicked to the pendant between her breasts. His eyes narrowed. He recognized it. He took his hand and lifted it up. "Where did you get this?" he growled.
Allura didn't say a word, she was too shocked by Coran's actions to say anything. This Coran was a stranger to her. He let the pendant fall and he said, "It doesn't matter." His hand slid down from there and gently cupped her breast. Allura started to struggle. "Stop it!"she cried.
He kissed her. "Dont, Allura, I only wish to make you happy.."
He leaned into her futher, pinning her. His lips continued to kiss her mouth, her neck, her shoulders. She could hear him say, "I love you so."
She was scared, so scared. Without thought, she whispered, "D'aavid..oh god, where are you..please..D'aavid..D'aavid..
Allura felt as if she were in some nightmare, some place where things just were out of place, jumbled, confused. She whispered, ..D'aavid, D'aavid..and then she heard,..I am coming!!..
She felt hands upon her skin and she thought of Keith briefly. They were like his, insistent upon having his own way. Her mind whirled in confusion...no, god help me! I don't want this! D'aavid! Coran's head was in the crook of her neck, kissing her wildly, uncontrollably. Allura had a clear view of the room. She saw him then, his alien face familar but not. She could feel the pendant that she wore become warmer as if it knew..it knew. She cried out, "D'aavid!!" and then the weight of Albert Coran was pulled off her.